Years ago, when I was first introduced to positive thinking, the philosophy was that anything in life could be controlled with a thought. Perfect health, wealth, romance, all of it was just one thought away. This is a very sexy notion. It made the rough stuff in life seem easier because, in theory, you could just “think it away.” Your future was totally dependent of what was going on between your ears.
While it did make the rough stuff seem easier, it also made me feel guilty and flustered from time-to-time. If the power was in my hands, or rather my head, why was I continuing to manifest challenges? It was implied that I was the only source of my healing; hence, I was also the only source of my pain.
I dove into my unconscious thinking that there must be some trauma in there that I’d not yet healed. I must feel that at some level I am not worthy of a dream life. I was perplexed. I saw therapists, hypnotherapists and healers of every sort. Nothing changed. Something remained blocked. Darn the blockages!
Years of journaling and affirmations.
I believed in the power of positive thinking for a long time. Then I started writing a book, and I looked at this very positive thinking assumption. Is it true? I wondered.
Turns out, no, it is not true. There is a paradox in positive thinking that gets glossed over. Thinking about how you want to improve your life also means that you are thinking about how it’s not that great now. The very premise of focusing on what you want, and not what you don’t, is virtually impossible.
The real secret to adding more positivity to your life is to accept things exactly as they are right now, today, this moment. Doing that, and only doing that, allows authentic positive emotions to bubble up.
Forced positivity really only reinforces dissatisfaction with life. Your best bet? Move through your challenges with grace, humility and resilience.
When I finally decided to accept that sometimes life has rough patches, a weight slid off my back and I could get on with doing the best that I can with what I have.
A few weeks ago, I found this passage from author Wayne Liquorman:
“Of the numerous bizarre ideas in modern spirituality, probably my least favorite is the notion that you bring your sickness on yourself. The suggestion is that when one’s understanding is wider and more expansive then the sickness doesn’t arise, or if it does, it is seen as irrelevant. We are told that all we have to do is ‘let go’ or ‘see rightly’ and all will be corrected. This means that if you’re sick, you’re an idiot. Not only are you sick, but you’re spiritually flawed on top of it, which is a truly ugly notion.”
Yes, sometimes life has rough patches, but I promise that you are beautiful, whole and already healed exactly as you are no matter what you’re thinking.
Have you ever found yourself with positive thinking guilt?