Elizabeth Gilbert sat on Oprah’s couch and revealed a question she asks herself. I grabbed my phone and typed it into the notes app. I’ve journaled on it a few times since.
What do I really, really, really want?
I distinctly remember Elizabeth saying that the 3 “really’s” were important.
There is probably a long list of things you want. Some emotional. Some financial. Some circumstancial. Many material.
Have you ever considered why you want those things?
Since this is a website about living with chronic illness, I’ll focus on the number one thing most people with chronic illness want: health.
Health is a great goal to have, but I bet it’s not what you really, really, really want.
You want what good health can give you: more energy, increased vitality, mobility, less worry, decreased pain. There is a whole list of these things that health can give us too.
They may be want you want. But are those things what you really, really, really want?
I can almost guarantee that what you want is a feeling. Energy, vitality, mobility, etc… will help you feel something. The feeling is what you really, really, really want.
It could be a feeling of peace. Or joy. Or love.
My Answer
One morning in my meditation bathroom (yes, it actually is a bathroom with a shower, sink, candles and a meditation cushion), I opened my owl journal and asked myself “what do I really, really, really want?”
I wrote, “I don’t want to feel like I need fixing.”
Not wanting to feel like “I need fixing” sounds a lot like really, really, really wanting inner peace. And that’s true. That is what I really, really, really want.
Sure a cure would be phnenomenal, but even with that, I’d still want inner peace more.
Three Really’s Worth of Wanting
The ultimate goal, the one worth 3 really’s, is the goal that isn’t dependent on an external circumstance. It is a feeling within.
This is wonderful because we can work toward cultivating the inner feeling without having certain demands on our circumstances. That work is called acceptance.
Health, no health. We all really, really, really want to feel something. The doorway to that feeling is accepting the things that appear to be in our way.
Acceptance of self. Of body. Of circumstance.