Last spring, I became an ambassador for the Donate Life California campaign. Needing an organ transplant quickly heightens your awareness of how important, and generous, it is for someone to decide to become an organ donor. One person can save eight lives and impact the lives of fifty people by choosing to register as an organ donor – that is quite a legacy!
While I was excited to learn more about organ donation, becoming an ambassador had the unexpected benefit of connecting me with three amazing women. Valen, Lori and Natasha are all organ recipients. They are also my age (somewhat of a rarity when it comes to transplant). They have careers, husbands and families. They are in the prime of life. They have learned how to live with grace, resilience, and a transplant. They have walked the path I’m now on – for years. Their wisdom, friendship and humor have been huge blessings to me.
Lori, Valen, Natasha and me with Deanna who leads the Donate Life California Ambassador Program at the Chronic Resilience Book Launch Party in Sacramento
Chapter six in Chronic Resilience talks about the importance of support. The angle I took in the book was mainly about finding support in friends, family, community and health care. That was the support I had, and it has gotten me through lots of health challenges. I have come to realize that there is a different type of support that can only come from someone who has been in your exact shoes.
This support comes with compassion, understanding and a ridiculous amount of laughter. The four of us clicked right away and we can talk for hours about things you really can’t talk about with anyone else. They have answered lots of questions for me. They are on my same medications and have experienced the same side effects I’m living with. We have similar attitudes about our health and outlooks on life.
On my third day in the hospital, my three new friends came to visit. They brought me an amazing gift basket filled with everything an immune-suppressed, transplant recipient could need: hand sanitizer, masks, soap, a cozy blanket and a personalized book filled with their favorite affirmations and thoughts on transplant. It was the perfect gift because it was the gift they knew I would need. The nurses were amazed to see four young transplant recipients hanging out together and wanted to hear about everyone’s journey. We made quite a ruckus, but were told that the other patients appreciated the laughter we sent wafting through the halls.
Last Monday, we got together for a pre-Thanksgiving celebration. I was filled with gratitude for each of these women. We ate and talked and laughed until midnight (and my incision hurt). I am blown away at what an amazing gift my new friends are and that we were brought together by such a unique experience.
I hope that whatever you are going through in life, you seek out the camaraderie of others who are living your experience. The internet has made this easier than ever. There are scores of online and in-person support groups. You can look up blogs of people who are coping with what you are coping with. You can find conferences where you can connect in person. You can volunteer for organizations connected to your situation as I did.
Illness can feel very isolating at times, but I can assure you, there is someone out there who has your same diagnosis, hopes and concerns. There is someone who wants to connect with you to share in compassion, understanding and a ridiculous amount of laughter.